The Second Chance Bride Page 6

  “Can you hear me all right?” Grace asked gently.

  “Yes,” Janet answered a little sharply.

  “Just try to keep still until your daddy gets here. It looks like you fell quite a long way.”

  “I’m all right,” Janet said and started to move more vigorously as if to prove it.

  “Just wait until your daddy gets here,” Grace said and reached out to hold her arms still.

  “I said I’m all right,” Janet snapped again and shook her arms free.

  “I’m just trying to help you,” Grace said and suddenly felt a little hot and a little sick. “So just lay still until your father arrives.” She realized that she sounded angry and it was clear from Janet’s expression that she had noticed it too.

  Grace knew that she should have a little more patience with Janet; after all, she might be injured. But Grace was feeling distinctly unwell now and it was clear to her that Janet had fared rather well despite her fall. All in all, she was not in the mood to indulge the child at that moment. She had done her best, but if it wasn’t good enough for Janet, Grace would do better to concentrate on her own well-being for a moment.

  When she heard the sound of running footsteps Grace let out a sigh of relief.

  By the time Josh arrived at the back of the house, Janet was already sitting up. He could see from her expression that she was still trying to goad Grace, despite the fact that she had likely given herself the most tremendous scare.

  Still, his own heart was beating like a drum just as it had been from the very moment Jimmy had raced into the lumber yard.

  “How are you feeling, honey?” Josh had immediately dropped to his knees in front of his daughter and reached out to lay a hand on either side of her face. “Does anything hurt?”

  “No, I’m all right,” she said, and he wondered if that was completely true.

  Her behavior had shown no sign of improving with regard to Grace, and Josh could not rule out the idea that her denial of any injury was just another act of antagonism.

  “Right, then just see if you can manage to stand,” he said, his heart drumming again as he hoped he was doing the right thing. “I reckon it would be best to let you do it because if anything hurts, you’ll be the first to know.”

  “All right,” Janet said and began to scramble to her feet.

  Josh watched her intently, scouring her from head to toe for any sign that she was hurt. As far as he could see, she was unharmed.

  “What about your head? Let me have a feel for any bumps.” He immediately began to run his hands over her scalp, her thick, springy blonde curls flying this way and that as he did so. “Well, I can’t find anything. Does your head hurt at all? Did you bump it?”

  “I don’t know if I bumped it, but it doesn’t hurt, Daddy.” She seemed for all the world as if she was bored with it all now. “Can I carry on playing with Jimmy?”

  “No, not today. I think it would be better if you went indoors and sat down for a while until your dinner is ready. I just want to keep an eye on you.”

  “But, Daddy……” she complained loudly.

  “Come on, take my hand.” He smiled at her and wished with all his heart that she would smile back; but she didn’t.

  After Jimmy Dalton had taken his leave, telling his best friend in the world that he would see her tomorrow in the schoolroom, Josh, Grace, and Janet made their way back into the house.

  It wasn’t until they were all in the kitchen that Josh looked at Grace properly. Her olive skin was just about as pale as he’d ever seen it, making her look a sort of yellowish grey. And, despite the coldness of the day, he could see a thin film of perspiration on her forehead.

  The skin around her eyes looked suddenly dark, almost giving her the appearance that she had not slept for a week. But he knew that couldn’t be the case, for he had seen her at breakfast that morning and then again when he had stopped at midday for something to eat. She had looked perfectly healthy then.

  He realized that she must have been dreadfully shocked by what had happened, and he felt guilty, not for the first time, of everything that Janet seemed set to put her through.

  He loved his daughter with every fiber of his being, but he couldn’t deny the fact that her behavior must surely have some effect on Grace.

  “Janet, why don’t you go into the sitting room for a while and take a little rest,” Josh said and, seeing his daughter about to object, he took a firm tone. “Please, just do it.”

  Janet sighed expansively and marched off into the sitting room, clearly unhurt.

  “All right, sit yourself down, Grace,” Josh said and pulled out a chair for her.

  She looked up at him gratefully and sat down heavily at the kitchen table. Her color did not seem to be returning and she was perspiring even more than she had been.

  “Thank you,” she said, and her voice sounded a little tremulous.

  “Just you wait here, I’ll get you a glass of water.”

  “Thank you,” she said again.

  When he handed her the water, she took a few sips and then set the glass down on the kitchen table. She took a handkerchief from the pocket of her dress and mopped her face, breathing steadily until she began to look a little bit more like her old self.

  “I guess that was quite a shock for you, Grace. What with Jimmy panicking and Janet lying at the foot of a tree. I’m so sorry, I really am.” He looked into her shining brown eyes. “I think I’m going to have to sit her down again and have a good long talk with her. I don’t seem to be getting anywhere, do I? And I really, really don’t want you to leave us.”

  Josh hadn’t meant to be so open, so raw and honest. But he meant it, he really didn’t want her to go. He didn’t want to be left on his own again with a child he loved so much that she was breaking his heart.

  Grace was so young and had so much of her own pain to deal with, and yet she was the only one who had stayed, the only one who had put that much effort in.

  When she told him that Janet had silently taken the little book away, the children’s stories that Grace had bought for her, Josh had felt so ridiculously happy. He had convinced himself that a corner had been turned and, in truth, that might still be the case. But if Grace had been shocked to the point of illness by Janet’s antics, there was every chance that she would see things differently.

  “It’s not her fault, Josh. Children play, Janet is probably a little more adventurous than most, but that’s just the way it is.”

  “But the shock, Grace, you look so unwell.”

  “That’s not Janet’s fault.”

  “She might not have meant that to happen, but that’s the result, isn’t it? She has to know that there are consequences to her behavior, and not all of them to be faced by her. She needs to know what she did to you.”

  “She didn’t do it, Josh. I was shocked, yes, but that isn’t why I feel suddenly unwell.”

  “Then what is it? What can I do?” He looked at her with concern. “Shall I go and fetch the doc?”

  “No, I’m not ill, Josh. I’m expecting a child.”

  Josh’s eyes flew wide open.

  Chapter 8

  Grace could hardly believe that she had finally spoken the words aloud. She realized immediately that Josh was the first person she had told when she might easily have confided in Laura Price or Connie Langdon.

  At first, Josh had looked so shocked that Grace felt a sudden need to explain herself.

  “The child is my husband’s,” she said curtly, and he silently took a seat at the table opposite her.

  “Of course,” he said and looked for all the world as if he had never considered that it could be anything other.

  “I’m sorry, you might think that I got my job here with you under false pretenses, but I assure you I didn’t. I truly didn’t realize that I was expecting at all. With everything that had happened, I don’t know, I reckon I’ve been in shock for some good long while. Anyway, it just didn’t occur to me until I had already been her
e a couple of months. I’ve been trying to find some way to… well…”

  “You don’t have to explain, Grace.” He smiled at her. “And I don’t think you lied about it to get a job here, not at all.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Look, why don’t you go and take a lay down? You look exhausted and not real well at all. We don’t need to talk about this now, do we?”

  “No, I don’t suppose we do.” She rose to her feet. “The dinner is ready, Josh. All you need to do is ladle it into bowls, it should be warm enough.”

  “Do you not want some?” he asked with concern.

  “No, thank you, I’m not hungry.”

  Grace made her way to her room and lay down on top of the bed. It was strange to her that she felt both relieved and worried all at once. In some way she was glad that she had, in the end, been forced to tell him. It was the right time, she knew it. If she had chosen not to tell him then, it really would be obvious at a later time that she had purposely kept him in the dark.

  But all the worries that had swirled about her mind for the last weeks would not give her peace. It was as if her admission had given them free reign and let them know that their time had come to thrive.

  It was kind of Josh to let her get away with it for a while, to give her a little time before they sat down and discussed her position there in his household. But he certainly hadn’t assured her that she had a definite place there and she couldn’t help but fear the worst in that regard.

  Of course, there was every chance that Josh hadn’t even thought that far ahead. After all, that was the very first he was hearing of her condition and he had looked so surprised by her news.

  But now he was out there on his own in the kitchen, setting out bowls for himself and his daughter, quietly eating the meal that he enjoyed so much. And thinking; he was very likely thinking quite seriously.

  Grace hoped against all hope that he was considering her small amount of success with Janet. She knew that the book of children’s stories was hardly a victory, but it was a tiny battle won and she knew it. She only hoped that he knew it too, that he would think of it now as he sat opposite his daughter in the kitchen.

  But she also knew that there was a good chance he was thinking of an ineffective housekeeper, one who grew more and more ineffective as time went on and her belly grew bigger and bigger. And then what? A screaming baby in the house and a housekeeper who was still, to all intents and purposes, ineffective.

  Not to mention running the gamut of gossip in town. After all, he was still a young man only in his thirties and she knew it would only be a matter of time before one of the townsfolk quietly suggested to another that the housekeeper’s child was more than likely to also be the child of her employer. That was just how it went; that was just how minds worked and tongues wagged.

  All in all, there was not a lot to recommend her continued presence under his roof and she knew it. And yet, despite it all, Grace finally closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

  After dinner, Josh and Janet had quietly cleared up everything between them. Ordinarily, Janet would have found some excuse for not helping, just as she had always done since life had been reduced to just father and daughter.

  It was something that he had almost always given into, not wanting to be the sort of father who threw every household duty at the daughter who was left behind after the death of her mother. He had always wanted her to still have her childhood, however sad she might be. She wasn’t expendable to him, she wasn’t an asset, a servant. She was his child.

  But she had helped him without question that evening and he sensed a little disquiet in her, as if she was silently wondering if Grace’s sudden illness was her fault. He wanted to tell her that it wasn’t, although he couldn’t help but wonder if the sudden shock had had more of an effect on the pregnant woman than she was prepared to admit to.

  At the same time, he didn’t want his daughter to suffer. The problem was, he’d had enough of it all. He couldn’t worry about everything; he couldn’t carry so much burden, so many cares. He couldn’t make Grace feel better at Janet’s expense or vice versa, and he just wished that life was simpler, that such decisions didn’t need to be made.

  And so, in the end, he had continued on as silently as Janet did, scrubbing at the heavy iron stew pot with gusto as his mind explored every possibility.

  He knew that he didn’t want Grace to leave even though it would clearly not be easy for her to run the house as efficiently as she had been doing.

  But his house had been upside-down before; in truth, it had been an almost permanent state for the last two years. He saw in Grace somebody who helped him in ways far beyond the cleaning of the house and the cooking of their meals.

  She was strong and clever, smart enough to give Janet the room she needed. And knowledgeable enough to give Janet the cold shoulder that she so clearly deserved at times.

  Grace had the instinct of a mother, the inherent knowing that a child could be truly ruined if given into over everything. It was the inherent knowledge that he, as Janet’s father, had not easily come to terms with on his own account.

  But still she did it gently, without fuss, without aggravation. Grace understood children, even if Janet was still proving to be something of a trial to her. And yet, explain it as he might, Josh knew that there was more to his wanting her to stay than simply Janet’s best interest.

  Just having Grace in the house, another adult, a person who understood grief, who had suffered as he had, made him feel so much less lonely than he’d felt for such a long time. He seemed to sleep better at night with the idea that she was sleeping just a few feet away from him, separated only by a wall.

  He could hardly explain to himself why that was such a comfort to him and he had never once considered overstepping the mark. It had never occurred to him to find some way to her, to convince her to open the door to him.

  She was a young widow, a woman who was still grieving, and Josh felt strangely protective of her tragic status. He would never have done or said anything to make her uncomfortable, to imply that she was somehow beholden to him now that she was under his roof as many a man might have done.

  Even if she had not been a young woman still so in love with her deceased husband, still, he would never have made such a move.

  “Daddy, I’m sorry,” Janet said quietly shaking him out of his reverie. “I didn’t mean to fall out of the tree.”

  “I’m not angry with you for falling out of a tree, honey.” He smiled at her. “But I’m not real impressed that you climbed up into the tree in the first place.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head, pleased to hear her relieved little chuckle.

  “Am I still allowed to play with Jimmy?”

  “Yes, but no more trees.”

  “All right,” she said and then looked down at her feet awkwardly.

  “Is there something else troubling you?” Josh said knowingly.

  “Is Grace going to be all right?”

  “Yes, she just needed a little rest.”

  “Is she sick because of me?”

  “She felt sick already.” Josh was suddenly painfully aware that he was doing what he always did, he was letting her off the hook. “But the shock of seeing you laying there didn’t help.”

  “I’m real sorry, Daddy.”

  “It’s not really me you should be apologizing to.” He raised his eyebrows at her.

  Janet didn’t reply, she just nodded her head thoughtfully. Josh wasn’t going to hold his breath waiting for his daughter to apologize and he certainly wouldn’t force her to give an apology she didn’t mean. Grace was an intelligent woman and she would see right through it. No, when Janet finally came around to apologize, she would do it for the right reasons.

  “I’ll finish up here, Janet. Why don’t you get yourself ready for bed now?” He knew it was early, but he rightly assessed that Janet wasn’t going to be foolish enough to put up an argument that night.

  “Sure. Goodnig
ht, Daddy.”

  “Goodnight.”

  When Janet disappeared, Josh opened the pantry door and took out the bottle of whiskey. He rarely drank, if ever, but decided that a good measure of the fiery liquid would be in order tonight.

  He sloshed some into a glass before returning the bottle to the pantry and settling himself down at the kitchen table once more. An idea had been rolling around in his mind, or on the edges of it at least, ever since Grace had told him she was expecting.

  He tried to deny the little thought as he and Janet had tidied up the kitchen but now that he was alone again, it came back with full force.

  Josh knew that Grace was still grieving and that she likely would be for a very long time. And while he knew the grieving process, he knew that his love for Eileen had never been particularly strong. It was something that had given him a great deal of guilt in the weeks after Eileen had died, even though he knew that the match had never been perfect for either one of them.

  They had loved each other, but only out of familiarity, out of years spent in one another’s company. He had always wondered if they had ever truly been in love and he had always come to the conclusion that they had not.

  But things were different for Grace, he was sure of it. If he approached her now, he really was risking everything. And yet, the idea seemed to make good sense for them both.

  With his mind finally made up and the late afternoon only just turning into evening, he decided to go and speak to her. There was no time like the present, and so he slugged down the full glass of whiskey and rose to his feet.

  When a noise woke Grace from her slumber, she sat up in some confusion. It was dark, but she could see that the door was open and that somebody was standing there holding a lamp.

  She squinted at the dark figure behind the lamp, but the brightness of that little light turned the figure into nothing more than a silhouette.

  “Josh?” she said enquiringly.